And A Child Shall Lead Them...

Freedom of speech (in all its forms) is, perhaps, the most valuable human right of all; and the implied freedom from oppression as a result of that speech is equally important. I cherish this freedom and would never restrict another person’s right to do so.

That being said, it has occurred to me that blogs are like butts …everybody has one. Even me (thank you, TransActive).

Unlike me, however, some bloggers are HUGE butt-heads.

One such blog is called “The Right Rant” (http://therightrant.blogspot.com/). It is produced (I hesitate to say ‘written’, since it’s content seems to be more intestinal than cerebral) by this guy...

His name is Ed.

Recently, Ed decided to share some of his insight regarding a gender non-conforming third-grader in Colorado who is in the process of transitioning with the support of family, friends, school administrators and members of the community.

Here is some of Ed’s “wisdom”, as well as follow-up comments by one of Ed’s ummm….fellow geniuses, Kevin:

“It’s bad enough when schools indoctrinate our third graders with radical liberal dogma…but seizing the opportunity of a (transgender) kid who likes womens’ clothes to proselytize third graders into accepting alternative-lifestyle pedogogy is beyond abhorent.”

“If you are a discerning reader, you probably are asking yourself, why are they using the term “transgender” when the 9 year old did not have a sex change? The author of the article wants you to think that men who prance around in womens’ clothes are comletely normal and they didn’t choose to be cross-dressers.”

“Third graders being indoctrinated into believing that literally any perversion is the norm and should not only NOT be judged, but embraced.”

Kevin commented:

“Do you know why we shouldn’t treat this boy like normal boys and girls? Because he isn’t normal! I’m sorry but if i went to school with that kid, I would probably make fun of him… until he graduates from high school and goes to work at a women’s clothing store full time.”

To which Butthead-In-Chief Ed responded:

“Who knows if the kid is gay or not, or if he just likes womens’ clothes. At 9, you can’t tell. Only as he approaches sexual maturity can one determine orientation. Until this kid reaches adulthood and chooses to have a gender reassignment surgery, he remains a dude and must dress like one.

What kills me is this kid’s indulgent parents who don’t say, “Life blows kiddo….now put on some pants!”

It was at this point that I decided to exorcise (not a typo) my freedom of speech on Ed’s blog and share some ideas of my own. I tried my very best to generate these thoughts from the top floor of Jenn Central rather than the bowels of my sub-basement, though I cannot tell a lie; there were audible rumblings from the boiler room.

I wrote:

Why are insults, stereotypes and prejudice your first reaction to something you don’t understand, or need more information about? This is a CHILD we’re discussing here, not some pawn to be moved around to suit yours or anyone else’s political or social agenda.

The fact of the matter is that there is a great deal of evidence that gender identity in ALL people is formed by age 4. That it is completely separate from anatomical sex (though most frequently they match to one degree or another) and that is has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

You have no idea of the pain these children experience when they are not supported and loved for who they are rather than for who others want them to be. This is not an illusion, or a whim, or an obsession. These children are not cross-dressers or transvestites. CD’s & TV’s do what they do occasionally for various reasons. This child does not want to switch back and forth…this child identifies as female.

You can not “beat the girl” out of her or psychologically abuse her into being what you might consider “normal”. And if you endorse teasing, humiliating or bullying these children in school, then quite frankly, you will be an accessory to their potential suicide…which 50% of gender non-conforming children at least consider, and far too many succeed in doing.

Just because YOU don’t understand it does not make it wrong, anti-Biblical or the work of Satan.

If you’d like more accurate information about this issue as it relates to children, then please contact our organization. If not, then please at least do not continue to assume you understand this enough to endorse and inflict further abuse, intolerance and psychological harm on this child, her family and others like them.

Respectfully,

Jenn Burleton
Big Shot Title
Big Shot Organization

That was pretty reasonable, wasn’t it? Mature? Measured? Coherent? Respectful? I think so.

Now, I need leave the top floor of Jenn Central and head down to the ‘Boiler Room’ . It’s about to go China Syndrome.

First...We Sacrifice The Children

In the aftermath of the murders of Lawrence King in California & Simmie Williams in Florida I am driven to ask the following questions. I have more - and I have some ideas...

1) How can we work together to change the emphasis regarding K-12 bullying, violence and humiliation from being sexual orientation-centric to where it really belongs, gender non-conformity and gender expression?

If we can succeed in shifting the focus of the conversation, then we expand our outreach to include ALL children, youth and adults who don't conform to arbitrary stereotypes of masculinity or femininity. It makes the issue universal...which it always has been.

Gay & straight males and females of all ages are bullied, discriminated against, humiliated and attacked every day for being perceived as too feminine or, somewhat less frequently & abusively, too masculine.

All women (straight, gay, trans, genderqueer) who do not meet prevailing gender stereotypes (thin, pretty, young, average or below average height, good hair, no facial hair, ideal feminine facial structure, etc.) suffer from varying degrees of discrimination, ridicule and abuse based upon where they fall on the gender expression spectrum.

The same holds true for all men who don't meet certain "standards" of what it means to be a MAN; tall, strong, moderately deep voiced, knowledgeable about sports, womanizing, athletic, assertive, commanding, etc.

2) How can we work together to further educate our own community about how trans and gender non-conforming identity is very different from LGB identity, even though we face mutual challenges in dealing with a hetero-normative culture.

I speak to many LGB support groups and organizations and while there is, for the most part, unanimous support for trans and gender non-conforming identified people there is also the same degree of lack of understanding the origins and substance surrounding trans identity.

In much the same way that many cisgender/straight people assume that being gay or lesbian is something a person 'decides' best fits who they are, many supportive and compassionate LGB folks assume that a transgender person decides at some point to change gender. That somewhat understandable disconnect goes a long way in explaining why some LGBT and evangelical Christians express such surprise and concern when it comes to trans identity in children and youth. After all, they ask...isn't it "too early for them to make a decision like that?"

My gender identity was no more a "choice" at the age of 4 or 5 than was my "choice" to begin breathing oxygen at birth rather than simply dying because I was no longer swimming in amniotic fluid.

3) How do we work together to inform schools, media, families, communities and transgender adults that the needs of children and youth who are gender non-conforming are, in many ways, VERY different from those that get the most attention with regards to adults, particularly as these youth approach and enter puberty?

Being true to yourself in expressing your gender non-conforming identity as an adult is among the most intimidating things any person will ever have to undertake. But in the end, the power to do so lies in the hands of the individual themselves. Gender non-conforming children need someone's permission and cooperation to not only express their true gender identity, but they need the professional help of others to prevent the horror of unwanted, wrong-gender pubertal development.

4) How can we work together to educate people about the factors in our culture and in their personal lives that led Larry King & Brandon McInerney to that tragic encounter on the morning of February 12, 2008? How do we do this without creating a martyr out of Larry or demonizing Brandon into mere caricatures of who they were in life in order to serve a political or social agenda?

Do we really move forward if Larry King becomes simply the tragically murdered "gay" eighth grader and martyr to "The Cause"? Do Brandon McInerney and other frightened, misinformed, ill-advised and repressed people learn anything useful if he simply becomes the bigoted monster who murdered the sweet-faced gay kid?

Let me be perfectly clear on how I feel about Brandon McInerney and what happened. Guns don't kill people. People with guns who are, or feel powerless, fearful, insecure, angry and self-righteous kill people.

Our misogynistic culture killed Larry King. Brandon McInerney just happened to be pointing the gun when the trigger was pulled.

The Devil Made Them Do It

For all those who aren’t as obsessive as I am about staying on top of what the pro-theocracy, uber-conservative segment of American culture is saying not just about “us”, but more importantly, about our children, read on.

This comes from the “news” arm of James Dobson’s American Family Association. Emphasis is mine…

Colorado School Encourages Gender Confusion In Second-Grader

Allie Martin - OneNewsNow - 2/12/2008 1:00:00 PM

Pro-family activist Peter LaBarbera says the case of a second-grade boy in one Colorado school who wants to be identified as a girl shows that the country has normalized deviance.

Staff at a public school in (Location deleted) are preparing to accommodate the second-grader, who wants to attend classes dressed as a girl and be addressed with a girl’s name. The school will allow the boy to use a unisex bathroom, and they are giving parents packets of information on transgendered people.

Peter LaBarbera, president of Americans for Truth, says the real victims of the supposed “diversity policy” are the young man’s classmates. “If the parents are so misled to encourage their child in this gender-confused behavior, they should not be allowed to teach that same behavior to all the other students in the school,” argues LaBarbera. “I think it’s a terribly sad situation. This boy needs help, the parents need help, obviously.”

The pro-family advocate says it is also troubling that the pro-homosexual group “Trans-Youth Family Advocates” has been working with the school district. He says such groups are “in the business of mainstreaming gender confusion” — but somehow manage to work their way into the schools under the guise of being “consultants.”

Being that I am the transwoman who founded (along with 3 non-trans parents) TransYouth Family Advocates in 2006, served as its first Executive Director and President of the Board and who created, defined, designed and presented the earliest and very effective in-service workshops to elementary, middle and high-schools around the nation, I have to call bullshit on this last paragraph.

From the very beginning, it was my belief (shared by the parents I worked with) that we would NOT discuss homosexuality or sexual orientation whatsoever, other than to emphatically explain how a child or youth’s gender identity has nothing whatsoever to do with their sexual orientation. I felt it was important to do this not only to clearly delineate the issues, but to also provide the schools themselves with credible “deniability” regarding promoting a “homosexual agenda”.

Note: Having left my leadership position with TYFA in April or 2006, I cannot confirm beyond any doubt that the organization has not changed its founding policy of not discussing homosexuality as part of its work in schools on behalf of these children and their families. It is simply my belief that the organization still adheres to that policy.

That being said, it doesn’t surprise me at all that the voices of religious intolerance and ignorance continue to beat an already abused drum despite all social, medical, scientific, experiential and humanistic evidence to the contrary.

As for their accusation that groups like the one I founded (TYFA) or my present organization, TransActive Education & Advocacy (TEA) are “in the business of mainstreaming gender confusion” or working our way into “the schools under the guise of being ‘consultants"...(pause)

Sorry. I was laughing so hard I had to step away for a moment. (Deep, cleansing breath.)

I’m a fairly bright human being. And I must say, in all modesty, that I’m probably as knowledgeable about gender identity expression and subconscious sex as, well…anyone. That being said, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT “MAINSTREAMING GENDER CONFUSION” MEANS!

I don’t debate that there are gender questioning people and gender fluid people. But gender “confused”?

con·fused - (kən-fyōōzd’)
adj.

1. Being unable to think with clarity or act with understanding and intelligence. Perplexed. Conflicted. Bewildered.

1. 
   

I think Prof. Lynn Conway, Jamison Greene, Georgina Beyer, Mara Keisling, Marsha Botzer, Shannon Minter, Hayley Klug, Julia Serano, Dr. Marcie Bowers, Moonhawk River Stone, Malcolm Himschoot and others might have something to say about clarity, understanding and intelligence. I’ve got to say that in a debate that utilized those three attributes, I’d put my money on any of the above individuals over Mr. LaBarbera or his minions.

I have met and come to know several dozen trans-identified children & youth over my lifetime and there isn’t one of them who was ever perplexed, conflicted or bewildered about their own gender identity. OTHER people certainly were ‘confused’ by their gender identity, but they weren’t.

People are frequently confused, perplexed, bewildered and afraid of things they don’t understand. It was true prior to and during the time of Christ. It was true during The Crusades. It was true during The Inquisition. It was true during the Salem Witch Trials. It was true during the Scopes Monkey Trial in the 1920’s (and that continues today in one way or another.)

I was a trans child and youth. I have NEVER ONCE been confused about my gender identity. In fact, my gender identity is about the ONLY thing in my life that I’ve been certain of throughout my entire life.

A thought: If “gender confusion” is allegedly related (in some way) to the status of one’s genitals, then it’s only logical that men with small penises or who are impotent are (or should be) somewhat more “gender confused” than men with large penises or potent. Discuss among yourselves.

con·sult·ant - /kənˈsʌltnt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kuhn-suhl-tnt]
–noun
1. a person who gives professional or expert advice:

Despite Mr. LaBarbera having used quotation marks around the word consultant, I fully embrace that word as being descriptive of what it is I, my associates with TransActive and those who work with other organizations do. We also educate, advocate and support not only the children, youth and their families, but the schools, communities, healthcare providers, social service agencies and legal entities that are in a position to interact with these children and youth.

We are experts on this issue. We are professionals on this issue. I have shared my 50+ years of experience in the field of gender identity experience, expression and interaction with doctors, lawyers, teachers, administrators, trans peers, children, youth and parents. That experience has, at times, been rejected, disregarded, ridiculed and, in some instances, used to hurt me in very personal and painful ways. But that goes with the territory of being not just a trans advocate, but being a TRANS advocate.

There is one part of being a consultant that I wish we more fully embraced. That’s the part where consultants get paid the BIG $$$ for what they do.

I’m proud of the fact that I played a key role in getting TYFA to where they are today, but I doubt they are rolling in dough. I do know that my advocacy work over the past 2 years with both that group and TransActive has not changed my tax bracket in an upwardly mobile direction. It has changed my tax bracket though…

If you are as outraged as I continue to be by these attacks on gender non-conforming children, youth and their families, then join me in speaking up and speaking OUT for them.

Send TransActive your calm, well thought out, respectful letters and emails about this issue and we will forward them to the school administration to demonstrate support for this family and their child and to show them this family is not alone.

If you are so motivated, you may also send a donation through PayPal at our website to support our outreach efforts for other children and their families. At present we have 3 families in the same situation as the one in Colorado, in addition to our educational work with schools, PTO’s, PFLAG chapters, GSA’s, etc.

It is the responsibility of those of us who have “been there” to do everything we can to make that journey to and through puberty and on to adulthood less traumatic for child and family than it was for so many of us.

Pat LaBarbera and his ilk are out to ratchet up the intolerance that our trans children face. Can we remain silent?

Kilroy Was Here

Feministe, USA

Feb 17 2008

A saner era? Myths about trans kids in schools, courtesy of FOX News

Posted by: Holly

For starters, if you have questions about young trans kids (and many people do) an excellent resource is the TransYouth Families Advocates FAQ. This group was started by four mothers with transgender children…

I am compelled to clarify this post that appeared in TransgenderNews and the Feministe Blog.

TransYouth Family Advocates was envisioned and founded in late August of 2006 by a transwoman named (me) who also happened to have been a foster parent of two trans teens.

The organization was originally named TransKidsPAC and then changed to TransKids Family Coalition before finally adopting the name TransYouth Family Advocates (TYFA) after some of the adolescents made it clear to us that they didn’t want to be identified as “kids”.

Note: Recently, the organization has changed its name to TransYouth Family Allies to reflect changes in its focus and outreach methodology.

Very shortly (within a week) after outlining my vision for the organization I was joined enthusiastically in developing TYFA by three other women (Kim P., Shannon G. & Amy G.) who became co-founders of the organization and who remain in leadership positions with TYFA today.

Soon after I was invited discuss my creation of the organization on GenderTalk by Nancy Nangeroni and Gordene McKenzie. I was joined on the air by co-founder Kim P. and her son. That original interview, broadcast on September 9, 2006, can be heard at the following link:

http://www.archive.org/details/gt575

The introduction to our segment of the show begins at 00:03:15 and ends 00:05:05 and the actual interview begins at 01:38:00 and runs through 01:59:00.

I was at TYFA's helm as Executive Director for the first 8 months of it’s existence. I authored or edited the vast majority of TYFA’s original literature (with the assistance & input of the three co-founders). I wrote and refined the organization’s Mission and Vision Statements, (again with input from the others) and designed and created the intial educational and advocacy outreach programs and presentation materials for use in schools and the community.

I designed TYFA's original logo (recently changed to a wonderful new design by a young transman I know) as well as all of the graphic design for the products TYFA sells through its CafePress merchant site. As with everyone in the organization at that time, all of this was done on a volunteer basis.

I led (along with my three co-founders) the organization as it moved from being a program affiliated with the PFLAG-Transgender Network (TNET) to being an independent, non-profit organization in late 2006. Upon the incorporation being final, in early April of 2007 I was elected the first President of the Board of Directors.

In April of 2007, I, along with Kim P.’s son represented TYFA in footage that was shot for the ABC 20/20 Barbara Walters show about transgender children and youth. While the vast majority of that footage was not used in the final broadcast, there is a very brief glimpse of Kim’s son and I at the 00:39 second point in the clip that can be seen at the above link. He is wearing a shirt that reads “What Kind Of Man Are You?” and I am to his left.

In late April of 2007, I chose to leave TYFA for personal reasons and went on to found TransActive Education & Advocacy in Portland, Oregon.

I wanted to develop an organization that not only served the needs of gender non-conforming youth and their families, but that employed more directly the skills, opinions and energies of those youth in the advocacy work. I also wanted an organization that more effectively
made use of the experiences of those who had been trans children and youth themselves. I applied what I had learned from the development of TYFA to TransActive.

TransActive has been committed to collaborating with any and ALL organizations that are dedicated to improving, advocating and unequivocally supporting trans and gender non-conforming children and youth.

I remain supportive of the work that TYFA does and will be forever proud of the role I played in bringing my vision for helping these children and their families to national visibility through TYFA.

I loved working with the other three women, the parents of transgender children. I loved being their friend, co-worker, sister-in-arms…sister. We were family.

The envisioning and development of TYFA was simultaneously one of the most difficult times of my life and, as I reflect now, one of the most amazing, rewarding and educational experiences of my life. It led me to where I am now with regards to my personal and professional development, both of which promise even more amazing and rewarding experiences.

You will (no longer) find any specific reference to me or my contributions to the birth, growth and development of TYFA on their website or in any of their literature. I have no problem with that on a personal level and have not spoken publicly about why the name of the transwoman who founded the organization was removed from TYFA's website and, essentially, their history.

My motivation in mentioning it now and clarifying the original posted statement is not to seek glorification for my role in the founding of TYFA. I have found though both my trans advocacy work and my previous career in the music and entertainment industry enough “glory” and “attention” to last a lifetime. Most of it positive…some of it cruel, undeserved and painfully negative, especially when coming from friends and family.

Clarifying and recording my role in the creation of TYFA as a positive force for change is completely in line with one of the goals that TransYouth Family Advocates was founded on.

TYFA was founded to not only educate and advocate on behalf of these amazing children and youth, but to show their parents, families & communities that being transgender need not sentence their child to a life on the fringes of our culture. To work to break-down trans stereotypes. To demonstrate beyond a shadow of a doubt that trans people, like ALL people, can give back, particularly to our children so that they may have it easier than some of us did.

I always believed that my role as visionary and co-founder of TYFA would serve as another example of what a trans person can accomplish once they are able to turn their energies outward, rather than being consumed by self-preservation, inward reflection and, indeed, survival in a world far less than welcoming for gender non-conforming children, youth and adults.

We need to remember and honor the contributions that trans people make to our own communities. We need to stem the tendency of cissexist culture and individuals, either intentionally, circumstantially or accidentally to write us out of our own history. Indeed, as was made tragically clear in an Oxnard, California middle-school classroom, some want to simply erase gender non-conforming identity altogether.

Trans adults. There are many of us that can work with others to do things for our children, bringing our unique perspectives to this vitally important task.

Trans children & youth…many of your parents will fight for your right to be yourself. They are your best and most important allies. But please also know that there are those who were once walking in your shoes, living and surviving your fears, mysteries and questions who not only WILL step up on your behalf, but who already HAVE stepped up in support of you.

It’s not about taking credit. It’s about taking ownership of our trans identities, and being true to those who have and may yet contribute to trans history.

In the end, it’s about making sure the world and our children know that we were here, we contributed and that trans contributions matter.

Peace & Unity,

Jenn Burleton
Executive Director
TransActive Education & Advocacy

West Coast Sector Leader
Member of The Board
PFLAG-Transgender Network

Recipient of The Ingersoll Center 2008 Founder's Award

Boundaries. Walls. Fatwa's. Dictums.

I received the following comment to a post I did regarding a transitioning female child in Colorado. I was going to simply reply to the comment, but decided instead to share it with as many people as possible.

vulcan | dougstownhouse@yahoo.com | IP: 66.213.245.146 wrote:

"I would agree that confused is the wrong word to describe the trans gender population. Possibly prior to choosing to be transgendered they were confused about what they are. But now I’m of the opinion that transgendered people are delusional. That is they have clearly lost touch with reality and are believing to be true what is not. A child with male genitals is not a girl. If he thinks he is, he is delusional."

"Children need guidance and clarity about life and the world we live in. If their parents won’t or are unable to provide that for them they will grow up with no clear set of boundaries. If when this child grows into puberty decides, because he has lost touch with reality, that he would like to have sex with the family dog, who will be there for him to give him clarity?"

"You need to learn how to accept reality and stop trying to change it."

Doug (or “Vulcan”, if you prefer)

A couple of points:

1. You didn’t choose your gender by looking down, seeing something resembling a penis and say, “Oh! I must be a boy.” That may (or may not) have, at various times in your life, confirmed your male gender identity, but hopefully it wasn’t the only deciding factor. If it WAS, and if you suggest that it should be the overriding factor in male gender identity, then I hope you are never in an auto accident, or combat, or a victim of penile or testicular cancer, which may cause you to lose your penis or testicles. If such a trauma ever happens…how will you possibly know which gender you are?

2. Is it delusional to believe in something you KNOW to be true, but that you can’t prove to the satisfaction of others? Is it delusional to believe that one man built a sailing vessel large enough to hold two of every living animal on the face of the Earth? Is it delusional to believe that a dead man rose from the grave to live in Heaven with his father in order to save the world from sin?

To the best of my knowledge, I believe that many consider accepting those things as facts, an act of “FAITH”…not delusions.

It doesn’t matter whether or not I share that faith. The fact that others cannot, to MY satisfaction, prove any of those things occurred doesn’t change my committment to respect their belief that those things did occur, that they are real and that it is something they cannot ignore without risking spiritual, physical, emotional and eternal destruction.

Why is it that some people (you) won’t give the same respect to a child and her parents who are doing their best to support their daughter and help to save her from the physical, emotional and yes, spiritual destruction that can happen to gender non-conforming children and youth when they are forced by others to be something they are not?

I’d like to propose a respectful agreement; I will make every effort to not denigrate, lecture or pass judgment on other people’s faith-based beliefs that can’t be proven to my satisfaction until I learn as much as I possibly can about the foundation of those beliefs. In return, you agree to learn as much factual and diverse information as you can about the development of gender identity in children & youth before passing judgment and accusing children of being delusional simply because they know something at the very core of their being that YOU can’t see or identify with.

If we have a deal, then perhaps we’ll both learn something and become better human beings. If not…well…where does THAT get us?

3. Children do need guidance…but which path do we guide them down?

Some parents “guide” their children into white supremacy. Some “guide” their children into standing on street corners across from the funerals of soldiers who have died in Iraq holding signs that read “Fag Soldiers” and “Thank God For IED'S”.

Some parents “guide” their children into strapping bombs on their bodies in the name of religion, and blowing up other children in malls, markets and places of worship.

Some parents “guide” their male-identified children into being bullies who abuse, humiliate and sometimes murder feminine-acting boys at school. Some “guide” their female-identified children into being submissive victims.

Some parents even manage to “guide” their children into embracing their religious faith in a way that does not condemn, judge or oppress others.

Some parents value how their child feels about themselves, especially when those feelings are persistent and consistent rather than transitory. Some parents value their child’s happiness and future enough to not only respect the child’s identity, but to learn that this is not a whimsical ‘choice’ or “delusion”.

Some parents believe in helping their child to be the independent minded, unique individual they are rather than allowing someone else to dictate an ‘approved’ cookie cutter for their child.

Which “boundaries” related to the world we live in are you referring to? The “boundary” that still disapproves of interracial marriage/coupling? The “boundary” that exists in much of the world that says women may not show their faces in public and may be killed by their family if they bring “dishonor” in some way? The “boundary” that allows a government to abolish Habeas Corpus and spy with impunity on its own citizens? The “boundary” that encourages some Christians to handle snakes as evidence of their faith?

Boundaries. Walls. Fences. Commandments. Fatwa’s. Dictums. Why do some use these things far too often to separate human beings from each other?

You don’t know anything about this child or her family, other than the child identifies as female, wants the freedom to express herself in a way that fits her gender identity and her parents and school are supportive of that. And yet, you’ve decided that she’s delusional and that her parents are either incompetent or permissive liberals.

For all you know, this young girl might attend Sunday School every week and save and donate her pennies to the Muscular Dystrophy Foundation. For all you know, one or both of her parents could be a minister, rabbi, Sunday School teacher, child psychologist, Iraq veteran or tireless volunteer with Habitat For Humanity.

Your disgusting, rude and inappropriate 'red herring' comment about "sex with the family dog" reveals more about who you are than all of your other comments.

What on Earth does a child’s sense of their gender identity have to do with bestiality? Are questions like that the kind of critical, analytical thinking “guidance” that you impart to your children?

Asking a question like that is as pointless as my speculating that your beliefs/”delusions” may lead you one day to stone your neighbor to death because she was committing adultery with another neighbor. Actually it’s FAR less appropriate or relevant than that, because Mosaic Law instructed followers to do exactly that in cases of adultery. I guess that is one of the “traditions/boundaries” that you may choose to ignore.

I will offer this in response to your bizarre, delusional and perverted hypothetical question:

A) I have worked for many years with trans people of all ages and most recently, exclusively with gender non-conforming children and youth. There has never been a single instance in which one of them has shown any interest in having sexual relations with an animal…not even a goldfish.

On the other hand, YOU thought up the question. I want to be as sensitive as I can on this, but umm….perhaps these kinds of fantasies relate to something that you’ve considered in the past? If so, and if this is a call for help, I suggest you contact a therapist in your area that works with people who are attracted sexually to animals.

B) I’m certain that if, for some unfortunate reason, ANY child developed an interest in sex with a family pet (unrelated as it is to their gender identity) that the parents would provide clarity and explain to the child why that wasn’t appropriate, healthy, emotionally rewarding or recommended. I know that would certainly be what I would tell MY child. You, on the other hand, may be more confused or conflicted about the matter, judging by your out-of-context question.

Finally…YOUR “reality” may revolve around your genitalia. Your vision of yourself as a male human being may be based solely on your penis. If so, then I believe you are short-sighted and intellectually and emotionally under-endowed.

“Reality” used to mean that a black man who looked at a white woman could be hung with no repercussions. “Reality” used to mean that children could be forced to work in sweat shops 12-hours a day. “Reality” used to mean that women could not vote. “Reality” once meant that a Catholic couldn’t be President, or a black man couldn’t be a legitimate candidate for President or that people would never fly, walk on the moon or cure polio.

Reality evolves through education, curiosity and vision. Give all three a try sometime. You might find a way to optimize the amazing (perhaps even God-given) gift of gray matter you’re carrying around on your shoulders.