Dr. Joseph Nicolosi to appear on Dr. Phil Show

Discussing Transgender Children

Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, the founder of the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) will appear on the “Dr. Phil” show on Tuesday, January 13^th. The title of the show is: “Little Boy Lost”.
(Check your local listing for times)

Episode description from DrPhil.com:

“What would you do if your little boy wanted to be a little girl? Dr. Phil continues the heated topic of gender confused kids…

Joining the discussion is family researcher Glenn Stanton and psychologist Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, who say it’s the parents’ responsibility to guide their children into their gender-born identities. On the opposite side are psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel and psychotherapist Dr. Michele Angello, who say children are born this way, and parents should support their children in their decision to transition to the opposite sex. What do you think is the best way to treat a child with gender identity confusion? Don’t miss the heated debate as Dr. Phil continues to explore this fervid and hotly contested topic.”

Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, self-proclaimed originator of reparative (aversion) therapy to treat those with same-sex attraction, is a highly controversial therapist whose ideological and methodological mission is to convert lesbian, gay & bisexual people into heterosexuals. His therapeutic approach has been discredited and condemned by both the American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatric Association.

Dr. Phil’s selection of Nicolosi as a so-called ‘expert’ on childhood gender identity is both disturbing and baffling, as Dr. Nicolosi and his associates at NARTH do not even accept the concept of gender variant identity in children and youth. They believe that children who express gender non-conforming identity are, in reality, “pre-homosexual” rather than transgender. This factor alone illustrates their basic lack of acceptance that gender identity develops independently from sexual orientation.

Dr. Nicolosi, in response to a 2004 show that Oprah Winfrey did on transgender children:

“Oprah's compassion is badly misplaced. A girl can't become a boy; she was designed to be a female, and to tell a child she can be something she is not is an abdication of adult responsibility. What if she were born black, but thought she was actually white? Should her parents have her skin whitened?”

“There are news stories now,” he continued, "about people who believe they really should have been born legless, and they ask a doctor to amputate their legs. This, like gender confusion, is a sad delusion with which no doctor should collaborate."

The staff of TransActive believes this goes significantly beyond merely presenting an alternate, research supported medical opinion.

An article by Daniel E. Byrne, PhD., which appears on the NARTH website, criticizes a 2006 pediatric conference at which progressive treatment methods for transgender and gender variant children were presented. He quotes the following from Richard Green’s 1987 book “The Sissy Boy Syndrome”:

“Parents have the legal right to seek treatment to modify their child's cross-gender behavior to standard boy or girl behavior, even if their only motivation is to prevent homosexuality."

In another NARTH article, Dr. Sander Breiner, a member of the NARTH Scientific Advisory Board warns against any programs that attempt to

normalize gender variant behaviors.

“Any child who has [gender variant] symptoms deserves a careful evaluation by a trained child therapist (psychoanalyst preferred) who is not a homosexual."

Finally, in what is perhaps the most troubling statement we’ve ever heard from a so-called therapist with regard to transgender and gender non-conforming children, current NARTH Scientific Advisory Board Member Dr. Joseph Berger stated the following in 2006 when asked to comment on the recent gender transition of young child:

“From a medical/scientific perspective, the notion of a child of five being ‘transgendered’ is absolute garbage. This is a child wanting attention and wanting to play ‘dress-up,’ with an added layer of unhappiness… the notion that a person is really someone of the opposite sex ‘trapped in the wrong body’ is poetic stupidity. It doesn’t exist in reality.”

“I suggest, indeed, letting children who wish go to school in clothes of the opposite sex - but not counseling other children to not tease them or hurt their feelings. On the contrary, don't interfere, and let the other children ridicule the child who has lost that clear boundary between play-acting at home and the reality needs of the outside world. Maybe, in this way, the child will re-establish that necessary boundary.”

“It is a mistake for various interfering, ignorant, and biased busybodies to try to ‘counsel’ the other children into accepting the abnormal. It is very healthy to be able to draw the line between what is healthy and what is sick.”

“I am sure that if we looked carefully, we could find some significant personal issues and aberrations in the parents of these children. These children don’t have such problems without there having been some groundwork laid by their parents in some way.”

It is clear from these and numerous other statements by NARTH members that Dr. Nicolosi and the organization he founded and runs is not only aggressively unsupportive of gender non-conforming children and youth, but that they reject the very notion that gender non-conforming expression and identity in childhood is anything more than a symptom of future same-sex attraction.

Dr. Phil McGraw has also invited back Glenn Stanton, a “research fellow” with Focus On The Family, to join Dr. Nicolosi in presenting their opinion that transgender identity in children and youth is the result of poor parenting practices (nurture) rather than something that is unique and individual within the child (nature).

Dr. Phil continues to provide a platform to religious idealogues masquerading as experts in working with gender non-conforming children and youth. This is the second program he’s done in less than 6 months that prejudicially describes these amazing and courageous children as “gender confused”. Dr. Phil McGraw clearly has his own agenda, and it goes beyond the quest for high ratings.

Transgender and gender non-conforming identity in children and adolescents is real, and their identity is no less genuine or deserving of respect and support than those who have a gender identity that happens to correspond, to one degree or another, with their birth anatomy. The majority of them are NOT gender confused. It is the adults around them who are confused about what the child is feeling and experiencing.

Please contact the producers of the Dr. Phil show and let them know that presenting scientifically unsupported opinions by anti-gay religious idealogues like Joseph Nicolosi and Glenn Stanton does very real harm to these children and their families. It reinforces the ignorance and intolerance that leads to teasing, bullying, harassment and violence against the children and youth who are already far too vulnerable and misunderstood.

Transgender Day of Remembrance-Vigil Speech

November 20, 2008
Portland State University
Portland, Oregon

My name is Jenn Burleton and I am the Founder and Executive Director of TransActive. I am the wife, spouse, partner and significant other of the woman with whom I’ve shared my life for the past 26 years. We have been the foster parents of two transgender youth.

In the aftermath of the 2004 Indonesian tsunami, I traveled to Phuket, Thailand and volunteered whatever talents, skills and abilities I could to the recovery effort. I am old enough to have marched with Jesse Jackson, Ralph Abernathy and James Groppi in the fight for civil rights and fair housing in the late 60’s and I am young enough to have voted enthusiastically, idealistically and teary-eyed for President Elect Barack Hussein Obama. I am a middle aged, middle class social liberal.

My name is Jenn Burleton; I am a woman who happens to be transgender and today just happens to be my birthday. It has always been a special time of reflection for me.

Early on, it was the yardstick against which I measured the time it was taking my mother to accept and support the little girl that lived within me. During my teen years, it became the hourglass through which the sand that was my changing body flowed. And in adulthood, it is the day on which I take stock of how far we’ve come as a culture and how far we still have to go with regards to gender identity and expression.

Since 1999, November 20th has been the day we set aside to remember our sisters and brothers, sons and daughters, fathers and mothers, lovers, companions, friends and total strangers whose lives were cut short by violence, ignorance, misogyny and fear. This is our day to honor and remember those who died simply because they were or were perceived to be sharing our transgender umbrella.

We know that at least one trans person dies violently every month. Many of these murders remain unsolved. This does not include those who take their own lives after having been slowly but surely emotionally assassinated by intolerance, indifference, poverty and isolation. Those of us who share, to one degree or another, a trans identity are the survivors… and when I did the math with regard to my own life, I realized how very fortunate I have been. As of today, I’ve survived 496 months since first coming out as transgender at 12 years of age.

Lawrence King was not as fortunate.

I did not have the privilege of knowing Larry in life; however I did spend several weeks earlier this year in Oxnard, California speaking with Larry’s friends, teachers, counselors, mentors and neighbors.

Joined by my friends and colleagues, Hayley Klug, Mariette Pathy Allen and Esther Griffin, I met with school administrators, the Mayor of Oxnard and even Larry’s father and family members of the boy who shot Larry. I have taught classes at E.O Green Middle School… 20 feet from classroom #42 in which Larry was shot in the head twice from behind at close range. Several of the students who were there that day were in the classes I taught.

You may have read that Larry was a troubled and flamboyant gay teen who liked to wear women’s clothing and harass straight boys. That Larry flaunted his sexuality. That one of the boys Larry liked finally wouldn’t take it anymore and brought a gun to school and shot Larry twice in the head as Larry sat at a desk in the computer lab.

I’m here to tell you that the only true part of any of that, is that one of the boys Larry liked brought a gun to school and shot Larry twice in the head. The remainder is nothing more than a cisgender-centric manipulation of Larry King’s trans identity in order to fit his death into a politically useful, binary gendered model of what homophobic violence is.

An article in The Advocate even suggested that support and encouragement for Larry’s overtly feminine gender identity and expression and his presumptively "gay" sexual orientation contributed to Larry’s death. It’s time for the hijacking of Larry King’s identity to stop. Larry, who told friends he preferred the name “Letitia”, was transgender.

It’s true that Letitia had male anatomy and at 15 was boy crazy (as are many straight girls at that age). But as many of us in this audience already understand, our identity… her identity existed between her ears and not between her thighs. The inability of some cisgender people in ALL communities to understand and respect that simple fact lies at the center of the identity theft that Letitia King was subjected to in life and most tragically, in death.

Letitia ’s life was complex, challenging, inspiring and, in the days prior to her murder, even joyous.

Born on January 13, 1993, Letitia turned fifteen one month prior to being killed. She had been taunted, harassed and abused for being feminine from elementary school on. Long before she may have even had a sexual orientation, Letitia understood that non-conforming gender expression is at the core of LGBT oppression. And yet, this small for her age child never backed down from being who she was.

Everyone who knew Letitia said that the weeks after she began fully expressing her true gender identity were the happiest of her life. Far from being the outcast some have portrayed her to be, Letitia had many friends at school, mostly other girls, and was well-liked by many in the school faculty and staff.

She loved butterflies. A child after my own heart, she loved the music of Crosby, Still & Nash. Her favorite song though, was “Lean On Me”, which she confidently told her chorus teacher she wanted to sing the solo on at the Spring 2008 school concert.

Letitia was described as a sweet child who befriended stray animals. Together with her adoptive mother, she crocheted scarves to send to the troops in Afghanistan and she loved Archie, the dinosaur-sized therapy dog at Casa Pacifica, the residential care center she was staying in at the time of her death. When asked how she withstood the teasing, bullying, harassment, physical and emotional abuse of others, including possibly members of her family, Letitia would simply say; “I am what I am.”

While some have tried to co-opt, manipulate, pigeon-hole and minimize Letitia’s identity in order to serve political or social causes, the brilliance of who she was lights the way out of the shadows for those who were fortunate enough to have known her. Averi, one of Letitia’s friends wrote this poem a few days after her death:

“I was his friend
And loved him till the end
You all treated him bad
You made him feel so very sad
Now take your life and change it up
So God can fully fill your cup”

Whether one attends a church that believes in a Supreme Being, or worships as I do at the intersection of equality, justice, respect and hope, we must all keep our cups filled with the compassion needed to understand those who are different than us and the courage to, despite all opposition, stand together not just as men and women of trans experience, but as human beings first and foremost.

Another victim of senseless violence, Martin Luther King, once said:

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

We owe it to those we remember today, to Letitia King, to Cameron McWilliams who took his own life at age 10 after telling his mother he wanted to be a girl, to Ian Benson and Gwen Araujo, to Brandon Teena and Barry Winchell. To the transgender children of today and tomorrow whose quality of life and whose very lives hang in the balance of what we do on their behalf in the days, weeks, months and years to come.

To each of us who has traveled our own unique road to where we are, and to where we’re going. To all of these and to those whose names and lives may never be known, let us remember… and let us promise them that from this day forward, we will never again be silent about the things that matter.

Peace.

Jenn Burleton
Executive Director
TransActive

TransActive Response To J. Michael Bailey & Warren Throckmorton

On Dr. Warren Throckmorton's blog, Dr. J. Michael Bailey took issue with the position TransActive Education & Advocacy has taken on the selection of Dr. Kenneth Zucker to Chair the DSM-V Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders workgroup.

He said:
"This is an utterly false characterization of Zucker’s position. He has no desire, stated or otherwise, to prevent homosexuality. Experience and logic suggest that when people have reasonable and sound positions, they do not need to mischaracterize the positions of others they disagree with."

Dr. Throckmorton then added:
"I agree with Bailey, I have seen nothing which would suggest Zucker has a stake in the eventual sexual orientation of children. And I certainly agree with the last sentence which has some special significance to me in light of the cancellation of the APA symposium."

"In my opinion, there are some advocates who implore various audiences to trust science but really do not want this unless the outcome suits their advocacy goals."

I posted the following response to Dr.'s Bailey and Throckmorton -

I respectfully suggest that our position paper does not mis-characterize Dr. Zucker's personal beliefs or clinical approach to the treatment of gender non-conformity in children and adolescents. In support of our position, I submit the following statements by Dr. Zucker, quoted by Frank York on the NARTH (National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality) website. Dr. Zucker's statements originally appeared in a 2004 issue of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America.

Dr. Zucker admits that there are complex social and ethical issues surrounding the politics of sex and gender in postmodern Western culture. He notes that the "most acute ethical issue may concern the relation between GID and a later homosexual sexual orientation. Follow-up studies of boys who have GID that largely is untreated, indicated that homosexuality is the most common long-term psychosexual outcome."

The concern seems to focus on Dr. Zucker's sense that NOT treating male children for GID will most commonly result in them becoming homosexual. Do we not "treat" people for conditions in the hope of preventing what might be considered by some to be a negative outcome?

Most transgender identified (as opposed to general spectrum gender non-conforming) children do much better in every way when supported and respected for their gender identity expression. Which begs the question, is Dr. Zucker treating the child in a way that is in their best interests, or simply to satisfy the desires of parents, therapists and culture?

Furthermore, we believe that Dr. Zucker and others are using reparative & aversion techniques in treatment of GID in children and youth as a way to encourage only gender stereotypical expression and as a smokescreen for discouraging the potential of a gay or lesbian sexual orientation.

Zucker goes on to say, in the same article quoted above:
"... that clinicians have an ethical obligation to inform parents of the relationship between GID and homosexuality. Clinical experience suggests that psychosexual treatments are effective in reducing gender dysphoria and that individual counseling and parental counseling are both effective methods of treating GID."

Our experience and a significant body of research indicates that, in fact, there is very little, if any, objective correlation between core gender identity and sexual orientation. The statement by Dr. Zucker that "psychosexual treatments are effective in reducing gender dysphoria" is, to be blunt, chilling and should be a glowing red flag to any parent or caregiver who would even consider taken their child to Dr. Zucker or others who follow his treatment guidelines and methods.

Continuing from the same article:
"While Zucker perceives gender identity and sexual orientation, especially among males, to become more fixed with age, he believes the data suggest a much greater plasticity in childhood."

This belief contradicts the American Academy of Pediatrics which stated in 1999 that:
"A child's awareness of being a boy or a girl starts in the first year of life. It often begins by 8 to 10 months of age, when youngsters typically discover their genitals. Then, between 1 and 2 years old, children become conscious of physical differences between boys and girls; before their third birthday they are easily able to label themselves as either a boy or a girl as they acquire a strong concept of self. By age 4, children's gender identity is stable, and they know they will always be a boy or a girl."

The above position by the AAP is most often assumed, in our cissexist culture, to apply only to cisgender children. However, all evidence points to this being the case with the vast majority of transgender children as well. The fact that their anatomy may not match their gender identity does not, in any way, invalidate the certainty of their transgender identity.

And finally, from the same article, we have this:
And if a secure gender identity prevents the development of later homosexuality, as Zucker acknowledges as a possibility, parents should be informed of the research on the relationship between the two. Zucker’s priority is “helping these kids be happily male or female,” but he also acknowledges that the treatment process does, in some cases, apparently avert homosexual development .

And in support of parents’ rights to avert a homosexual outcome for their children, Zucker cites a persuasive quote from Richard Green: “The right of parents to oversee the development of children is a long -established principle. Who is to dictate that parents may not try to raise their children in a manner that maximizes the possibility of a heterosexual outcome?

In light of this, I must ask, Dr.'s Bailey & Throckmorton, precisely how have we mis-characterized Dr. Zucker's position regarding preventing or to use his own words, averting a homosexual outcome?

TransActive stands 100% behind our previous statement, and we further state, unquivocally that:

Gender Identity pre-dates and is independent of Sexual Orientation in children.

Transgender identity in children is rooted in pre-natal development, as evidenced by both clinical research, historical analysis and anecdotal information.

Transgender & gender non-conforming children & youth are more well-adjusted, happier, healthier and more productive when supported in their expression of their gender identity, including allowing them, if they so desire, to transition to their target gender.

Dr. Zucker's treatment methods damage children and their families, including the one recently profiled on the NPR program.

Non-conforming gender identity, including transgender identity, is no more a 'disorder' than is cisgender identity. It is simply more rare.

Sincerely,

Jenn Burleton
Executive Director
TransActive Education & Advocacy
Portland, OR

DSM-V & Kenneth Zucker

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

TransActive Education & Advocacy strongly opposes the appointment of
Dr. Kenneth Zucker to Chair the Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders
work group that will revise and develop the fifth edition
of the American Psychiatric Association's (APA)
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of
Mental Disorders (DSM-V).

This position is based upon his approach to clinical treatment of
transgender and gender non-conforming identity in children & youth.

Portland, OR. (May 9, 2008) - On May 1, 2008 the American Psychiatric Association (APA) released the names of those appointed to the work groups that will revise and develop the fifth edition of the APA's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V). Dr. Kenneth Zucker, who heads up the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto, Ontario, Canada has been selected to Chair the Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders work group.

TransActive strongly opposes the appointment of Dr. Kenneth Zucker to Chair the Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders work group that will revise and develop the fifth edition of the American Psychiatric Association's (APA) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V). This position is based upon his approach to clinical treatment of transgender and gender non-conforming identity in children & youth.

Dr. Zucker, along with colleagues Dr. Ray Blanchard (also appointed to the DSM-V workgroup) and Dr. J. Michael Bailey are proponents of the theory that, in the vast majority of cases, gender non-conforming identity in children and youth is merely an indicator of an eventual homosexual identity in adulthood.

In a recent interview broadcast on National Public Radio (NPR), Dr. Zucker said:

“Suppose you were a clinician and a 4-year-old black kid came into your office and said he wanted to be white. Would you go with that? ... I don't think we would.”

This cavalier equating of racial identity to gender identity clearly illustrates his belief that transgender identity in children & youth is nothing more than a delusional and unrealistic fantasy.

Zucker says: "It is legitimate for parents to establish limits for their children on cross-gender behaviors. If not, the behavior is, in effect, being reinforced."

Dr. Zucker chooses to see parental support for their child's innate sense of their own gender identity as a "reinforcement of cross-gender behaviors." Again his distinctly cissexist consideration of transgender identity in children and youth as a 'behavior-centric" issue rather than an core identity issue is deeply troubling.

Zucker further believes that transgender children and youth should only be considered for puberty delaying or cross-gender hormonal treatment if they prove resistant to psychosexual treatment. This is another clear indication that Dr. Zucker does not recognize the inherent difference between gender identity and sexual orientation.

Note: A psychosexual disorder refers to a sexual problem that is psychological rather than physiological.

Zucker has stated that a secure gender identity possibly prevents the development of later homosexuality. This raised several red flags for those of us who work with gender non-conforming children, youth and their families. TransActive's position is that "prevention of homosexuality" should not be the concern of childhood gender identity specialists.

The second and perhaps most troubling red flag is the assumption that transgender children and youth are insecure in their gender identity. This is a cissexist notion that has historically done much damage to our gender non-conforming children and is particularly of concern when expressed by the currently appointed Chair of the work group that will be developing the DSM-V.

All of the children and youth that TransActive has worked directly with are not the least bit insecure about their own gender identity. The insecurity, if any exists, comes not from within, but from their fear of how those who fail to understand them will react. We believe that Dr. Kenneth Zucker and colleagues of his such as Blanchard, Bailey, George Rekers, Warren Throckmorton and Joseph Nicolosi are some of the people these children and their families have reason to fear.

On behalf of the children, youth and families we serve, and transgender and gender non-conforming children and youth everywhere, TransActive Education & Advocacy stands opposed to the appointment of Dr. Kenneth Zucker as Chair and Dr. Ray Blanchard as a member of the Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders work group.

Jenn Burleton
Executive Director
TransActive Education & Advocacy

And A Child Shall Lead Them...

Freedom of speech (in all its forms) is, perhaps, the most valuable human right of all; and the implied freedom from oppression as a result of that speech is equally important. I cherish this freedom and would never restrict another person’s right to do so.

That being said, it has occurred to me that blogs are like butts …everybody has one. Even me (thank you, TransActive).

Unlike me, however, some bloggers are HUGE butt-heads.

One such blog is called “The Right Rant” (http://therightrant.blogspot.com/). It is produced (I hesitate to say ‘written’, since it’s content seems to be more intestinal than cerebral) by this guy...

His name is Ed.

Recently, Ed decided to share some of his insight regarding a gender non-conforming third-grader in Colorado who is in the process of transitioning with the support of family, friends, school administrators and members of the community.

Here is some of Ed’s “wisdom”, as well as follow-up comments by one of Ed’s ummm….fellow geniuses, Kevin:

“It’s bad enough when schools indoctrinate our third graders with radical liberal dogma…but seizing the opportunity of a (transgender) kid who likes womens’ clothes to proselytize third graders into accepting alternative-lifestyle pedogogy is beyond abhorent.”

“If you are a discerning reader, you probably are asking yourself, why are they using the term “transgender” when the 9 year old did not have a sex change? The author of the article wants you to think that men who prance around in womens’ clothes are comletely normal and they didn’t choose to be cross-dressers.”

“Third graders being indoctrinated into believing that literally any perversion is the norm and should not only NOT be judged, but embraced.”

Kevin commented:

“Do you know why we shouldn’t treat this boy like normal boys and girls? Because he isn’t normal! I’m sorry but if i went to school with that kid, I would probably make fun of him… until he graduates from high school and goes to work at a women’s clothing store full time.”

To which Butthead-In-Chief Ed responded:

“Who knows if the kid is gay or not, or if he just likes womens’ clothes. At 9, you can’t tell. Only as he approaches sexual maturity can one determine orientation. Until this kid reaches adulthood and chooses to have a gender reassignment surgery, he remains a dude and must dress like one.

What kills me is this kid’s indulgent parents who don’t say, “Life blows kiddo….now put on some pants!”

It was at this point that I decided to exorcise (not a typo) my freedom of speech on Ed’s blog and share some ideas of my own. I tried my very best to generate these thoughts from the top floor of Jenn Central rather than the bowels of my sub-basement, though I cannot tell a lie; there were audible rumblings from the boiler room.

I wrote:

Why are insults, stereotypes and prejudice your first reaction to something you don’t understand, or need more information about? This is a CHILD we’re discussing here, not some pawn to be moved around to suit yours or anyone else’s political or social agenda.

The fact of the matter is that there is a great deal of evidence that gender identity in ALL people is formed by age 4. That it is completely separate from anatomical sex (though most frequently they match to one degree or another) and that is has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

You have no idea of the pain these children experience when they are not supported and loved for who they are rather than for who others want them to be. This is not an illusion, or a whim, or an obsession. These children are not cross-dressers or transvestites. CD’s & TV’s do what they do occasionally for various reasons. This child does not want to switch back and forth…this child identifies as female.

You can not “beat the girl” out of her or psychologically abuse her into being what you might consider “normal”. And if you endorse teasing, humiliating or bullying these children in school, then quite frankly, you will be an accessory to their potential suicide…which 50% of gender non-conforming children at least consider, and far too many succeed in doing.

Just because YOU don’t understand it does not make it wrong, anti-Biblical or the work of Satan.

If you’d like more accurate information about this issue as it relates to children, then please contact our organization. If not, then please at least do not continue to assume you understand this enough to endorse and inflict further abuse, intolerance and psychological harm on this child, her family and others like them.

Respectfully,

Jenn Burleton
Big Shot Title
Big Shot Organization

That was pretty reasonable, wasn’t it? Mature? Measured? Coherent? Respectful? I think so.

Now, I need leave the top floor of Jenn Central and head down to the ‘Boiler Room’ . It’s about to go China Syndrome.

First...We Sacrifice The Children

In the aftermath of the murders of Lawrence King in California & Simmie Williams in Florida I am driven to ask the following questions. I have more - and I have some ideas...

1) How can we work together to change the emphasis regarding K-12 bullying, violence and humiliation from being sexual orientation-centric to where it really belongs, gender non-conformity and gender expression?

If we can succeed in shifting the focus of the conversation, then we expand our outreach to include ALL children, youth and adults who don't conform to arbitrary stereotypes of masculinity or femininity. It makes the issue universal...which it always has been.

Gay & straight males and females of all ages are bullied, discriminated against, humiliated and attacked every day for being perceived as too feminine or, somewhat less frequently & abusively, too masculine.

All women (straight, gay, trans, genderqueer) who do not meet prevailing gender stereotypes (thin, pretty, young, average or below average height, good hair, no facial hair, ideal feminine facial structure, etc.) suffer from varying degrees of discrimination, ridicule and abuse based upon where they fall on the gender expression spectrum.

The same holds true for all men who don't meet certain "standards" of what it means to be a MAN; tall, strong, moderately deep voiced, knowledgeable about sports, womanizing, athletic, assertive, commanding, etc.

2) How can we work together to further educate our own community about how trans and gender non-conforming identity is very different from LGB identity, even though we face mutual challenges in dealing with a hetero-normative culture.

I speak to many LGB support groups and organizations and while there is, for the most part, unanimous support for trans and gender non-conforming identified people there is also the same degree of lack of understanding the origins and substance surrounding trans identity.

In much the same way that many cisgender/straight people assume that being gay or lesbian is something a person 'decides' best fits who they are, many supportive and compassionate LGB folks assume that a transgender person decides at some point to change gender. That somewhat understandable disconnect goes a long way in explaining why some LGBT and evangelical Christians express such surprise and concern when it comes to trans identity in children and youth. After all, they ask...isn't it "too early for them to make a decision like that?"

My gender identity was no more a "choice" at the age of 4 or 5 than was my "choice" to begin breathing oxygen at birth rather than simply dying because I was no longer swimming in amniotic fluid.

3) How do we work together to inform schools, media, families, communities and transgender adults that the needs of children and youth who are gender non-conforming are, in many ways, VERY different from those that get the most attention with regards to adults, particularly as these youth approach and enter puberty?

Being true to yourself in expressing your gender non-conforming identity as an adult is among the most intimidating things any person will ever have to undertake. But in the end, the power to do so lies in the hands of the individual themselves. Gender non-conforming children need someone's permission and cooperation to not only express their true gender identity, but they need the professional help of others to prevent the horror of unwanted, wrong-gender pubertal development.

4) How can we work together to educate people about the factors in our culture and in their personal lives that led Larry King & Brandon McInerney to that tragic encounter on the morning of February 12, 2008? How do we do this without creating a martyr out of Larry or demonizing Brandon into mere caricatures of who they were in life in order to serve a political or social agenda?

Do we really move forward if Larry King becomes simply the tragically murdered "gay" eighth grader and martyr to "The Cause"? Do Brandon McInerney and other frightened, misinformed, ill-advised and repressed people learn anything useful if he simply becomes the bigoted monster who murdered the sweet-faced gay kid?

Let me be perfectly clear on how I feel about Brandon McInerney and what happened. Guns don't kill people. People with guns who are, or feel powerless, fearful, insecure, angry and self-righteous kill people.

Our misogynistic culture killed Larry King. Brandon McInerney just happened to be pointing the gun when the trigger was pulled.

The Devil Made Them Do It

For all those who aren’t as obsessive as I am about staying on top of what the pro-theocracy, uber-conservative segment of American culture is saying not just about “us”, but more importantly, about our children, read on.

This comes from the “news” arm of James Dobson’s American Family Association. Emphasis is mine…

Colorado School Encourages Gender Confusion In Second-Grader

Allie Martin - OneNewsNow - 2/12/2008 1:00:00 PM

Pro-family activist Peter LaBarbera says the case of a second-grade boy in one Colorado school who wants to be identified as a girl shows that the country has normalized deviance.

Staff at a public school in (Location deleted) are preparing to accommodate the second-grader, who wants to attend classes dressed as a girl and be addressed with a girl’s name. The school will allow the boy to use a unisex bathroom, and they are giving parents packets of information on transgendered people.

Peter LaBarbera, president of Americans for Truth, says the real victims of the supposed “diversity policy” are the young man’s classmates. “If the parents are so misled to encourage their child in this gender-confused behavior, they should not be allowed to teach that same behavior to all the other students in the school,” argues LaBarbera. “I think it’s a terribly sad situation. This boy needs help, the parents need help, obviously.”

The pro-family advocate says it is also troubling that the pro-homosexual group “Trans-Youth Family Advocates” has been working with the school district. He says such groups are “in the business of mainstreaming gender confusion” — but somehow manage to work their way into the schools under the guise of being “consultants.”

Being that I am the transwoman who founded (along with 3 non-trans parents) TransYouth Family Advocates in 2006, served as its first Executive Director and President of the Board and who created, defined, designed and presented the earliest and very effective in-service workshops to elementary, middle and high-schools around the nation, I have to call bullshit on this last paragraph.

From the very beginning, it was my belief (shared by the parents I worked with) that we would NOT discuss homosexuality or sexual orientation whatsoever, other than to emphatically explain how a child or youth’s gender identity has nothing whatsoever to do with their sexual orientation. I felt it was important to do this not only to clearly delineate the issues, but to also provide the schools themselves with credible “deniability” regarding promoting a “homosexual agenda”.

Note: Having left my leadership position with TYFA in April or 2006, I cannot confirm beyond any doubt that the organization has not changed its founding policy of not discussing homosexuality as part of its work in schools on behalf of these children and their families. It is simply my belief that the organization still adheres to that policy.

That being said, it doesn’t surprise me at all that the voices of religious intolerance and ignorance continue to beat an already abused drum despite all social, medical, scientific, experiential and humanistic evidence to the contrary.

As for their accusation that groups like the one I founded (TYFA) or my present organization, TransActive Education & Advocacy (TEA) are “in the business of mainstreaming gender confusion” or working our way into “the schools under the guise of being ‘consultants"...(pause)

Sorry. I was laughing so hard I had to step away for a moment. (Deep, cleansing breath.)

I’m a fairly bright human being. And I must say, in all modesty, that I’m probably as knowledgeable about gender identity expression and subconscious sex as, well…anyone. That being said, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT “MAINSTREAMING GENDER CONFUSION” MEANS!

I don’t debate that there are gender questioning people and gender fluid people. But gender “confused”?

con·fused - (kən-fyōōzd’)
adj.

1. Being unable to think with clarity or act with understanding and intelligence. Perplexed. Conflicted. Bewildered.

1. 
   

I think Prof. Lynn Conway, Jamison Greene, Georgina Beyer, Mara Keisling, Marsha Botzer, Shannon Minter, Hayley Klug, Julia Serano, Dr. Marcie Bowers, Moonhawk River Stone, Malcolm Himschoot and others might have something to say about clarity, understanding and intelligence. I’ve got to say that in a debate that utilized those three attributes, I’d put my money on any of the above individuals over Mr. LaBarbera or his minions.

I have met and come to know several dozen trans-identified children & youth over my lifetime and there isn’t one of them who was ever perplexed, conflicted or bewildered about their own gender identity. OTHER people certainly were ‘confused’ by their gender identity, but they weren’t.

People are frequently confused, perplexed, bewildered and afraid of things they don’t understand. It was true prior to and during the time of Christ. It was true during The Crusades. It was true during The Inquisition. It was true during the Salem Witch Trials. It was true during the Scopes Monkey Trial in the 1920’s (and that continues today in one way or another.)

I was a trans child and youth. I have NEVER ONCE been confused about my gender identity. In fact, my gender identity is about the ONLY thing in my life that I’ve been certain of throughout my entire life.

A thought: If “gender confusion” is allegedly related (in some way) to the status of one’s genitals, then it’s only logical that men with small penises or who are impotent are (or should be) somewhat more “gender confused” than men with large penises or potent. Discuss among yourselves.

con·sult·ant - /kənˈsʌltnt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kuhn-suhl-tnt]
–noun
1. a person who gives professional or expert advice:

Despite Mr. LaBarbera having used quotation marks around the word consultant, I fully embrace that word as being descriptive of what it is I, my associates with TransActive and those who work with other organizations do. We also educate, advocate and support not only the children, youth and their families, but the schools, communities, healthcare providers, social service agencies and legal entities that are in a position to interact with these children and youth.

We are experts on this issue. We are professionals on this issue. I have shared my 50+ years of experience in the field of gender identity experience, expression and interaction with doctors, lawyers, teachers, administrators, trans peers, children, youth and parents. That experience has, at times, been rejected, disregarded, ridiculed and, in some instances, used to hurt me in very personal and painful ways. But that goes with the territory of being not just a trans advocate, but being a TRANS advocate.

There is one part of being a consultant that I wish we more fully embraced. That’s the part where consultants get paid the BIG $$$ for what they do.

I’m proud of the fact that I played a key role in getting TYFA to where they are today, but I doubt they are rolling in dough. I do know that my advocacy work over the past 2 years with both that group and TransActive has not changed my tax bracket in an upwardly mobile direction. It has changed my tax bracket though…

If you are as outraged as I continue to be by these attacks on gender non-conforming children, youth and their families, then join me in speaking up and speaking OUT for them.

Send TransActive your calm, well thought out, respectful letters and emails about this issue and we will forward them to the school administration to demonstrate support for this family and their child and to show them this family is not alone.

If you are so motivated, you may also send a donation through PayPal at our website to support our outreach efforts for other children and their families. At present we have 3 families in the same situation as the one in Colorado, in addition to our educational work with schools, PTO’s, PFLAG chapters, GSA’s, etc.

It is the responsibility of those of us who have “been there” to do everything we can to make that journey to and through puberty and on to adulthood less traumatic for child and family than it was for so many of us.

Pat LaBarbera and his ilk are out to ratchet up the intolerance that our trans children face. Can we remain silent?